And then there’s the rest of your life.
I can’t seem to draw myself into a conclusion.
The direction is, synchronize body and mind to bring yourself into the present moment.
There is space.
And there is the heart center pounding and burning. I don’t seem
To have the appropriate mechanism. When something’s already occurred.
Taken place. And I imagine everything to be fine. And now I’m hanging.
Now, it seems, we are at a second phase. The first being that I would drink,
A lot. Because I was always putting.
Placing myself in the wrong.
Now, we are at a deeper and more intimate level of awareness.
As the teachers have taught this day.
An elegance. Of discipline. Not running away.
Staying with the rawness. Even for moments.
There. There. Sad-joy. I find this is nearly and almost always, my every waking moment.
And now, there’s a line across my right eye. This has happened perhaps four or five times.
Over use of the eyes?
Does the line refer to a separation?
The feeling is extraordinary and unnatural.
Is that true?
These too can be the doorway in.
I remain hurting but perhaps I can hold the space for myself?
There, the heart muscle can be found. Striations named as myocardium.
Beyond understanding the heart requires blood and electronic(s).
How can I understand, if I can’t understand more steadily how this main system of my body
Connects with the rest of the underlying organisms?
Oh, there it is.
“There is a resonant heart in the depth of silence. When your true heart speaks, the echo will return to assure you that every moment of your presence happens in the shelter of the invisible circle. These eternal echoes will transfigure your hunger to belong.”*
Now. No one can do this for me.
Not even you.
The heart breaks and reveals more.
He said, “catching the scent of something beautiful: we notice the brilliance of a flower, the inner experience of our loved ones”.**
I lay myself bare.
Eternal Echoes, John O’Donohue **Acharya Nick Kranz