Fieldnotes JAnuary 25-29, 2015


My weather app states “another stint of winter weather.” I’m really enjoying these lengthy diatribes the weather folks are producing. And, I’m in my four day off mode, so, as they say…”bring it on.”

And, on the work front, I got my first yearly evaluation. How is it, my experience has been so vastly different, than the creator of this “evaluation”? Rock star customer service? Not so.
Dragged through red mud clay on a winter’s road and five minutes (if that) of “nice job”. What was an invitation to a “conversation”, was this:

a piece of white copy paper, my name and this, Annual Review 2014.
Six sentences and one thank you.

And then: (I thought i’d make a free form poem)

retain, concern, FrequenCY

MISTAKES    mistaKES        MIstAKes

NOT acceptable                                   reputation         AccURacy
greatly appreciate/Struggle/short
BRISK. Collect

Is there anything I can do? cost TIME aND
ThREE monthS.

Do you have anything to say? The head fills with such a Neptunian fog,  thick with confusion/questions/what?
Dangerous to speak, I remain silent.
Forty eight hours.
I’m still, what?
The home team says, “unprofessional”. And, is there anything to be learned/worked on?
Most important: read this,
I am not stupid/less than/unable to do this job/unacceptable.

And so, I lean in. Mercury says, “be patient.”
Snow (dogen)
All my life, false and real, right and wrong entangled.
Playing with the moon, ridiculing wind, listening to birds,
many years were wasted seeing the mountain covered with snow.
This winter, I suddenly realize snow makes a mountain.

and then

Seeing with the entire eyeball is all-inclusive study.  Getting all the way through is all-inclusive study. To understand whether the face skin is thick or not is all-inclusive study.

Dad would say, “Put that in your pipe and smoke it.” (preferably a cherry/wood flavor)

Myotai asks, “Same stay? Same go?

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